Giving Space for the Storm

Giving space for the storm….

Our first year here we experienced our first Zambian downpour. The rain was coming down so hard it was inching its way into our house. To fight this our girls went out with brooms and laughingly swept the water back. All the while they were singing “Its a hard knock life for us.” (you can see this video on my FB page)

The next rain came so hard that puddles of water made its way into the teacher’s house next door to us. One of the teachers asked if we could dig trenches for the rain to run into before flooding their house. The trenches made space for the storm. The storms still came and the heavy rains poured down, but the trenches kept the rain from causing too much damage.

I was wrestling with the Lord the other day about some things that feel very stormy in my life. I am studying the story of Gideon and how Gideon is asking, “If the Lord is with us why has all this happened?” I had some “whys” of my own for the Lord. My wrestling with Him currently involves journaling (which I hate), praying, and studying. The rain is pouring in my life, but I am doing all of this to dig the trenches to keep the rains from damaging my heart. Through this digging (journaling, praying, and studying) it hit me the other day that the Lord has made space for the storm. The way my life is set up right now has made space for all this digging. The rain pours, the storm rages but I have space in my life right now to dig.

He is providing space for the storm.

I don’t know what kind of storm you are in right now. I have heard it said, “You are either coming out of a storm, in the middle of a storm, or headed toward a storm.” Regardless, none of us can hide from them. God has encouraged me this week by whispering into my heart that He knows me, He knows my life, and He knows my future. I do not dig alone. I do not fight the rains alone. I am not in the trenches alone. Neither are you.

He is providing space for the storm.

Where is home?

 

 

The days were long but the weeks and months flew by!  God blew us away our first year serving at The Esther School.  Lot of adventures, hardships, joys, and tears.

I have thought about writing this post so many times.  I thought about it when we were first moved to Zambia and it felt like every time we turned around we were chasing a mouse out of our house.  Analeigh hated the mice so much that she wouldn’t use her closet.  The whole year she didn’t use her closet.  We  ended up buying plastic bins that she put her clothes in so she wouldn’t have to reach into her closet to grab a shirt and a mouse scurry by.  

I thought about it again when the green mamba slithered up onto our porch and I trailed behind my sweet friend as she went after it with a stick and a washing tub (maybe a sword and shield?)

Then when it seemed like the mice headed back outside to play and the snakes seemed to leave us alone (for a bit) came the flying termites.  Walking to and from school it felt like we were trying to even keep them out of our eyelashes.

Mice, snakes, and flying termites were an adjustment but then came the heat.  Oh my goodness– the heat.  There were days it felt so hot that you didn’t even feel like you could take a deep breath.  During our Christmas holiday the thermometer one day read 117.  Yes, you read that right, 117 degrees!

Then we had some moments of reprieve when the rains came.  However with the rain came the instant worry of how to keep the rain from flooding into our houses.  We found some creative solutions. (Umbrella above the toilet)

The rain came and went but the heat stilled stayed on with a vengeance.  As if heat isn’t bad enough then came heat mixed with flies.  Flies buzzing all around.  Flies in your hair.  Flies in your face.  Flies all over our shirts.  I felt like a cow constantly swatting at the flies.

The flies seemed to calm down and then one day it seemed like the heat just let up.  One morning I went to run and realized I needed a light jacket.  I actually felt the slight sensation of a chill.

Raging heat gone and enjoying my sweatshirt one morning I looked down saw we were repeating the cycle….a mouse scurried under my closet.

I was on a call with a friend and I remarked that I felt like living here had its seasons of its own mini-plagues.  Mice then snakes then termites then heat then rains then more heat then flies then a sweet moment of wearing sweatshirt only to start  over again with the mice.  She asked me if all of things made me want to leave and I remarked to her that I knew I could endure all of these things because this wasn’t our forever home this was just a season.  God had called us to serve at The Esther School for a season.

In that moment it struck me.  What did I mean that Zambia wasn’t my forever home?  Didn’t we move to Zambia?  Didn’t we sell our house and cars and pack up our kids and say our tearful goodbyes?  This wasn’t our forever home, what?

What I meant was that I always felt like I had an out.  We were in Zambia serving by choice.  It wasn’t our forever home.  We weren’t going to live with mice, snakes, termites, heat, rains, and flies forever.  We weren’t going to have to sleep under bed tents, live off solar power, and be away from family and friends forever.  We expected life to be hard.  We expected the scary snakes and the raging heat.  We expected to have water problems and malaria tests.  We expected to have the trials and struggles and I could do it because I knew this wasn’t forever.

I knew at home we had running water, electricity, and A/C!  I knew that at home we had drive-thru restaurants and Walmart.  I didn’t feel the despair of what was before me because I always had the anchor of the promise of what was at home.

What was at home….

“I go to prepare a place for you….”

Wait a minute…if my mind tells me that I can live this life in Zambia because of the promise of what is at home isn’t that the very same truth of living life here on earth because of the promise of what is at home in Heaven?   In that moment it was if something just made sense to me.  This is how it is suppose to feel.  I am suppose to feel free to serve, love, live, cry, give, swat flies and scream at a mouse because this is not my forever home.  

We have served in Africa for 3 years now.  There have been many times that I have felt separated.  We have missed Christmas, birthdays, little life events, and felt separated.  Even that though brings me to the realization that because of what Jesus did on the cross we will live in eternity not separated!  We will have eternity with Him!

I could go on and on sharing how God has revealed so much to me throughout our season of serving in Africa.  He constantly shows Himself to us and reminds us of who He is.  

We are back in the US for the summer and today someone asked me, “Are you guys going back to Africa?”  My instant thought was, “Of course we are going back. Zambia is our home.”

Our hearts can fall in love with wherever God leads us and for a season Zambia is our home.  Mice, snakes, flying termites, rain and heat are for a season—I am thankful for the promise of eternity and for the anchor of my FOREVER home with Him!

 

 

 

 

OR versus AND

Today Analeigh said something that I have thought so many times…”Why can’t junk food be healthy?  I really wanted to eat cookies for snack instead of cheese and apples.”  I responded to her, “You can have cheese, apples, AND a cookie for snack.  It doesn’t have to be an ‘or’ it can be an ‘and’.  You can eat something sweet it just can’t be all you eat.”

Saying that to her reminded me of a blog I have been meaning to write.   It’s a long one so be ready….

When we were home this summer I felt like I kept having the same conversation with different people.  We would talk about The Esther School and what we were going to be doing and how we would be living.  We would hear over and over again people commenting that they were in awe of what we were doing or that they felt like they could never live in Africa.

Something else that we experienced was the guilt people felt when they were around us.    Some felt guilty that they had put in a pool that year.  Another felt guilty that they bought  a brand new car.  One friend even opened up to me and shared that she didn’t want to tell me that they had just bought a lake house.

Here is my response.  Life does not have to be about the OR.  You either go on a nice vacation with your family OR you sponsor an orphan to go to school.  You make memories with your kids by buying a lake house OR you partner with a missionary serving in a 3rd world country.  You move to Africa and serve OR……What???

Why does it have to be about the OR?  Why do we have to feel guilty about enjoying the gifts and blessings that God has given us?

I say lets make it about the AND!!!!

Go on family vacations!  Eat out with family and friends!  Buy a lake house!  Put in a new pool!

AND

             Care for the orphans, the widows, and the poor. 

 I don’t know all the reasons that God leads us to do certain things.  I am sure there are many of you out there that know your bibles way better than I do.  However, I totally believe that God calls us to lead a balanced life because He loves us.  He knows how crazy we can get when we live too far in one extreme.  Not only does it makes us crazy, it causes us to miss out!

Living in the freedom of God’s word by caring for the orphans, widows, and the poor looks different for all of us.  I see amazing posts about serving in soup kitchens, adopting children, sponsoring a child in a 3rd world country, teaching English to refugees, teaching a skill to the under resourced, opening businesses to employ the homeless….the list goes on and on.

Ask yourself today, “What am I doing to care for an orphan, widow or the poor?”  If you can’t think of anything then you are missing out on the AND!

Believe me when I say living in the AND sets you up for peace, joy, contentment, fulfillment, and to be super direct it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you see pictures of orphans getting their school uniforms, singing songs about Jesus,and you know that you partnered in that!

If you don’t believe me, here is what the Bible says

Proverbs 11:25 The Message (MSG)

The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed;                                                         those who help others are helped.

Proverbs 11:25 New International Version (NIV)

A generous person will prosper;                                                                                 whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

I want to encourage you to live life in the AND   Don’t be drawn to obedience out of guilt.  Pursue and seek out opportunities to live life in the AND because God kinda knows what we need to flourish.

I want you to experience the FULL life that God gave His son for you to choose.

“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”  James 1:27

To end….please invite the Costley’s to ride in your new car, swim in your pool, and relax at your lake house.  We are happy to celebrate your blessings with you!

PS:  If you need help adding an AND into your life, I know this great ministry called The Esther School!    A shameless plug for what God is doing in Zambia.

A Smile Worth a Thousand Words

A smile worth a thousand words

We all have those moments in life when we are in the middle of a
situation that just makes us stop and say, “Wow! Did that just happen?”
Today I had one of those experiences. I went out on a home visit with
our two kindergarten teachers and one of the other  administrators.  Our mission was to inform a family that their 7 year-old daughter was given a spot at The Esther School. We had a spot open up because of a family relocating.

Down a dirt road we went heading to a
small brick house. We found the family in the front yard cooking on an open fire and
hand-washing their laundry. Introductions were made, the kindergarten
teachers are Zambian, so they translated, and the mother quickly
escaped into the house. A few minutes later she returned with an
invitation to come in and have a seat. Ducking down to enter the
brick/mud house I was instantly surprised by the sparseness. The house
was one 8 x 8 room. The floor was dirt and there was a sofa and two
chairs inside. The furniture was clean and cared for, but about 20
years past its prime. On the walls hung a few pots and pans and
clothing items. The mother insisted we sit on the best furniture as
she sat on a wooded crate. We slowly explained the reason we were
visiting and waited for the translation and Zambian dialogue to take
place. In the midst of the explanation a priceless smile came across
the mothers face. It was then that my North American friend and I
realized once again the beauty in The Esther School. It was the news of hope and
a promise. It was the realization on that momma’s face that prayers
are answered by a God that is faithful. It was in that, “wow” moment
that I saw my purpose at The Esther School. What a blessing to get to
be the one that witnesses the life changing smile on a momma’s face
and the excitement of a 7 year-old child that knows her life has been
changed forever. Wow! I serve a God that never ceases to amaze me.
The best part is that the smiles are contagious.

In just one week….

Through the years I have enjoyed so many testimonies of how people came to know the Lord.  Our God is so personal that He knows just what it is going to take for each of us to turn to Him.

For me He used friendship.  I remember so many people reached out to us when we first started visiting churches.  We were invited to Sunday school, out for ice cream, fun times bowling, and just sharing everyday life together.  As I grew in friendship with them my curiosity about Jesus started to grow.  They knew Him which made me want to know Him.

That all started over 15 years ago.  Since then, God surrounded us with friendships when we were first married and went to our first married Sunday school class.  He brought us friendship when we moved to Tennessee. He provided us with friendships when we moved to Uganda in 2013.  He has always known what I needed to provide strength in life’s trials.

Now here we are in another move, another huge life change, and another adventure.  Once again, God has provided.  The people here at The Esther School are unbelievable.  We are covered up with relationship. On about day four I woke up and thought, I might just stay in bed all day today.  Nothing was wrong I just didn’t have it in me to unzip my tent and face the day.  As soon as I rolled over and was about to tuck my head under the covers I heard laughter outside my window.  It was just what I needed to get up!  I unzipped my tent, grabbed a cup of coffee and made my way outside to bring myself closer to the joy.  I wasn’t necessarily feeling joy in that moment but I knew it was near so I GOT UP.

Although God definitely provides the friendships, it is still up to me to get up.

He knows what we need to survive the first days of marriage, babies, moving, new jobs, new countries, and just the trials of life.  He knows.

So, there was a time in my life when I talked with my friends about what baby cereal to feed my baby or when we were going to meet for play group.  Then there was time when I talked with my friends about how to survive 3rd grade homework.  We have shared life through family struggles, health issues, marriage hiccups, hair color dilemmas, weight loss plans, the latest podcasts we were listening to, and plans on how not to kill our children before 12:00pm each day.

This morning though I added a new one to the list….A friend shared where to place the rat killer pellets and just as I lifted the garbage can to find the hole where the rats hide there was a newly dead rat.  I shivered and screamed and grabbed her and laughed so hard.  She helped me scoop it up, showed me where to throw the carcass outside, and we both realized our friendship would now be forever!  And of course, we took a picture.